So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize