Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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