Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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