She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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