she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
