A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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