my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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