also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
