I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
