this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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