He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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