dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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