I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bring me that man meat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
