The maid of honor just puked.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
