My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i need some magic done to my vagina
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
