you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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