Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
