Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
