yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
