So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
