ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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