We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
