I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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