You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize