He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
