I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
