I wannas sexs uuuuu
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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