well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
