I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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