Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
