Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
