i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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