I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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