Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
