eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
