He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
