too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Are we still banned from the library?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize