All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
