are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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