I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
