that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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