stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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