Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
