Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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