My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
