I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
