i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this is an emotional support booty call
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
