Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
