Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
