I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
