I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize