I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
