I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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