do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
