I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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