I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
