I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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