He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
