And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
