Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
