Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
oh god the rape fog is back!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
His nipple licking is glorious
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