Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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