kristin has been a bad kristin
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
