32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is the high leading the old right now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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