I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
