She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize