There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
