I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
