You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
