You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
