He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
